Saturday must have been International Rude Day. I woke up to a rude comment on Facebook AND a rude Tweet. The Facebook comment started with a compliment, but then quickly digressed into insults, lazily excused with an "I have to be honest"clause. The commenter said that "bigger people" would look like taxis if they wore a yellow blazer like mine. I was at first insulted, then felt bad for being insulted when I realized it wasn't directed at me. I gave it some thought, then responded with "Bigger people can wear what they want." Just minutes later, I opened up Twitter to find a tweet from some tactless girl expressing her feelings about my look that was featured on Your Next Dress. I don't think she even knew that it was tweeted to me as well as the website. So much rudeness and all before 11am!
To address the first comment, which I think is more important, I must first admit some things. I, like most people in America, have an automatic negative response to being called fat. I wish I didn't. I'm working to change my perceptions of my own body and the word fat. Through middle school, high school, and till about the age of 22, I was "overweight". Then, suddenly, the weight started coming off. The only explanation I have for it is that I was exploring the world and changing my outlook. I think those changes were enough to change my activity level as well as my eating habits.
I was very happy in high school, so I don't want you to think I was completely miserable being overweight, because I was far from it. I did, however, feel like people couldn't see the real me. And I hated not being able to wear all the clothes that were in style.
In the ten years that have passed since I graduated high school, I've made some huge changes and feel pretty lucky in life. Most people didn't recognize me at my reunion! I did however fall into my old pattern of only talking with my group of friends all night, but that usually happens at reunions, right? My husband did the networking and I was my typical wallflower self. It works out.
This Facebook comment has got me thinking, though. I still carry around a lot of the insecurities that come with being fat in a skinny-obsessed world. But I've had a breakthrough. One that I think shows progress in changing my body image. I realized the insult wasn't being called fat. The insult was being compared to an inanimate object. No matter what your size, color, or gender you're a human being and you deserve respect and kindness.
To address the second rude comment. The girl said "Hell no!" in response to the question "What do you think of Catie Beatty's dress?" Bitch please, I've been in 4 magazines, a book and featured on loads of websites. Your tactless remark only made me realize just how awesome I am.
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4 comments:
My mama bear protectiveness comes full force when I find out that people are being rude to my friends. As a person who has and still does obsess about her weight, I completely empathize with your feelings. You feel like crap about what they said, and then feel like even more crap when you tell yourself you should be stronger than to let their comments get to you. And all of that leads me to want to be a guy in my next life. LOL.
I try to tell myself that I should feel sorry for the people making the rude comments because they obviously have no class and think that the internet allows them some sort of pass to word vomit and they are allowed to spew whatever they want. But that can be hard.
The one thing that does make me feel better though is that usually these girls are like 10 years my junior. And I remember what it was like to be constantly scrutinized for how you looked. And so as much as I want to punch their face through the computer, I have to feel bad for them that they haven't reached that age of maturity yet.
Anyway, I think you look amazing no matter what you wear! I love these overalls. And those cute flats are so fun! I love the color! <3
toni
I read a blog post recently basically saying that it's ok to wear this and that, but just don't make huge mistakes like a big-bottomed girl wearing a pencil skirt. Excuse me? It stuck with me and made me angry - what blogger is to decide who can wear a certain type of skirt? Anyway, I completely understand why you'd be annoyed with those comments. Shouldn't blogging be a positive place?
harumph! i hate people like that - why even take the time out of your day to be rude to others. so counter-productive! boo. you're gorgeous
kw, ladies in navy
It can be so hard to shake off the negativity. Some people are just jerks and we should feel sorry for their ignorance and lack of good manners.
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